i finished writing a peice on how fucking stupid you are not five minutes prior to finding information on a study designed to determine why people waste so much more money than they normally would if a contest or auction is involved. at first, i was just going to write it off as being a simple matter of a lack of neurons, but i decided to read it instead of aspiring to the level of dumbfuctitude that most of you loft about on.

yet another barrel of resources was poured into yet another study that required more scientists, more administrators, and more sweater puppy touting assistants to find out why the hell you stay up all night staring at a screen in the hopes of spending your power bill on a vintage cocaine straw from the 1980’s. you could be watching the late late show. you could be enjoying the night air with a yummy bowl of edy’s strawberry ice cream. you could even be in the middle of a three hour porn star sex marathon with your hot ass wife. are you? no. you’re bombarding your retinas with a cathode ray tubetrying to outbid that bastard in kansas.

what’s another ten bucks, anyway? sure this peice of shit’s totally worthless and once i have it it will just rust out in the garage like everything else i own, but i have to have it. yes, you have to have it, and the study confirms that you will have it at five times what the peice of shit is worth because not only are you a fucking idiot as i previously suspected, but because you are afraid to lose. that’s right, you’re afraid to lose. you’re dick will fall off if you lose. you might lose your big boobies. amy winehouse will show up at your door and call you a crackhead if you don’t get that godforsaken shit pile fodder before that other insane asshole does.

maybe i shouldn’t be so hard on scientists. hell, if i could sit around all day spending other people’s money documenting the blatently obvious i probably would too.  i may actually be a threat to these people. you might want to send all your freinds here to learn the truth before they shut me down.